Hey friends 💭 Have you ever stopped and asked yourself: "Do my parents love me just because, or do they expect something in return?"

It's something I used to wonder about quietly for years. Today I want to talk about this from the heart. Let's have a real conversation about love, expectations, and what we often misunderstand.

Love That Feels Like a Deal?

I used to think my parents only gave love when I did something right—got good grades, acted polite in front of relatives, or helped with chores. The compliments would come flying in, and I'd feel seen. But when I messed up, the cold silence hit harder than any scolding. I started wondering… is this love, or a reward system?

Truth is, sometimes it does feel like love from parents is a little "if you do this, you get that." Especially growing up in a household where approval often came with conditions. Sound familiar? 😅

Where the Expectation Comes From?

As I got older and started talking to friends, I realized many of us feel this. And here's what hit me—our parents aren't trying to trade love for behavior. A lot of them just don't know another way to show care. Their version of love is often tied to worry, protection, and their own upbringing. They think pushing us is loving us. They want us to succeed so badly that they sometimes express it through pressure.

It's not always healthy, but it comes from a place of love. 🤍

Unspoken Love Languages

My mom never said "I love you" growing up. But she always cut fruit for me before I even asked. She'd save the crispy part of the dish she knew I liked. That's her love language. No hugs, no long talks—but that quiet care? That's real. 🥹

So many parents love in actions, not words. And we might not recognize it because we're used to love being loud and obvious. But if you look closely, the signs are there.

So… Is It an Exchange?

I think the answer is: sometimes it feels like it, but it's deeper than that. Yes, parents can expect things—respect, effort, gratitude. But those things often come from their fear we'll get hurt, fail, or be misunderstood in the world. It's not always "You give me this, I give you love." More like: "I don't know how else to show I care."

It's messy. It's not always soft. But it's usually real. ❤️

Let's Be Honest

As we grow up, it helps to talk about this—openly, gently. I've slowly started telling my parents what I need emotionally. It's awkward sometimes, but it's helped both sides. And I try to return their love, even if it looks different from what I'd give a friend or a partner.

So I'll ask you: have you ever felt like love from your parents came with strings attached? How do you see their love now that you're older?

Drop your thoughts below 💬 Let's unpack this together. Sometimes, healing starts with simply realizing: we're not alone in how we feel. 💛